Four Ways to Escape Your Sexual Rut

Every relationship reaches that point when the prospect of sex suddenly doesn't have quite the same spine-tingling, deliciously nervous excitement. Now comfortable enough to admit you're tired, or would rather watch another episode on Netflix, sex can become a series of slightly repetitive encounters with simple foreplay and missionary. So, here are four ways to get that sexual spark back into your relationship, and escape the rut in which you've somehow found yourself.

1. Get wet

No, I mean literally. The feeling of water running over your body in a shower or a bath can do wonders for your sexual ego. Maybe it’s the change of location from your standard bed, or maybe it’s the movies that you’ve watched with some seriously hot shower scenes, but something about getting under the water can just inspire you to get sexy and really tease each other. As someone whose hang up has always been my blow job skills, I surprised myself when I first had shower sex by just getting on my knees and going for it. Water is also incredibly flattering for a naked body. Trust me, get wet and you will have an incredible reminder of how hot you and your partner look - and how hot your sex can be.

2. Be honest

If you haven’t opened up about your real sexual fantasies and turn ons before, now is the time. Sure, you may have coyly mentioned that you don’t mind being spanked, or drunkenly agreed that a threesome would be fun, but real sharing is the way to get the best out of your sex life. It can be difficult to admit that you have actually watched porn a thousand times, you have always wanted to try some hardcore bondage, or you’re actually really turned on by the idea of cum on your face. However, it’s important to remember that your partner will be excited to hear about what you want to do more of, and they will want to share their own ideas, too. Plus, talking about what you want to do is SEXY!

3. Go solo

A very simple way of breaking the ‘fingering - hand job - missionary’ routine is to take a step back, and touch yourself. Doing it together is great, but the best thing here is to touch yourself while the other watches. Not only can this be an enormous turn-on, but watching someone touch themselves can help you to understand what it is, mechanically speaking, that gives them an orgasm. Pay careful attention to their hands, and get some inspiration from the way that they like it. For some extra fun, talk to each other about the kind of things you think about when you masturbate alone. By having a sexual connection without actually touching at all, you may find that you learn much more about what your partner wants, and will approach foreplay with fresh ideas.

4. Film it

It might seem a little out there, but knowing that there is a camera on you and that this will be watched again can seriously inspire some hot, dirty sex. You can even keep the tape and watch it together, or just use it for touching yourself later. The key here is to realise that the camera isn’t actually changing anything. You’re actually just that sexy! Use it to inspire you to perform, and then remember that you can have hot sex every single time, even when there’s no camera there.  (Disclaimer: Only try this if you absolutely trust the person. Essentially you are handing them several thousand dollars worth of a television deal to bring down your political career. Or just a lot of awkwardness after a breakup if it’s shown around. Either way, agree beforehand where and how the video will be stored.)