Why "being together" is an unattainable ideal

No one is 'together' 100% of the time, and students certainly aren't. Our washing is something that happens on a far too irregular basis, and changing the sheets weekly is a dream that only the fondest mothers cling to. Most of us don't get perfect grades, or have the perfect relationship, or stick to our schedules... and that's ok! The idea of 'being together' is an unattainable ideal for many of us- so perhaps it's time to set some new goals this semester, and have more realistic expectations for 2017.


An ideal that seems all too prevalent in the culture of twenty somethings is the use if the phrase ‘put together’. New year’s resolutions have been made up and down the country to allow people to be more put together in 2017. People often remark that they wish their life was 'together'.

I have to admit that I often feel that my life should be more together; I should get up earlier; iron all of my clothes; have a bubbling social life; be in a long term relationship; eat healthier and exercise more. I even do most of these things; I have friends and a partner and I occasionally go for jogs- yet I expect more from myself , even when all of my laundry is done!

I do think there is a lot to be said for being ambitious, and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be. However, I also think that this can lead to a constant feeling of under achievement, which can be detrimental to the overall view you have of yourself. If we are constantly worried about not meeting this goal of 'togetherness' then how can we be expected to enjoy the present, imperfection that we are living in? Also, who is holding us accountable to this? Who is saying that you need to get your life together?

I personally blame society's constructions but I think that we all need to be aware of this pressure, and to not only be kind to ourselves, but also patient. Togetherness in my opinion will take time, time to formulate and take shape in your life in the way that it is going to. Everyone will have different opinions on what it means to be ‘put together’. 

Set realistic goals for yourself this year and be patient. If you want 2017 to be perfect, then I'm afraid you may mind find yourself disappointed. 2017 will be a roller coaster like any other but, after all, where is the fun in always being 'together.'