Can you go the distance?

Your final year at university is a roller coaster of emotions. For those in a relationship, there is an added dimension: what happens when you graduate? It can be difficult to decide between love and opportunity, and some might choose to compromise in the belief that jobs come and go, but this person could be The One. Will you go the distance, or break up and go your separate ways? 

Right now, I’m so glad I’m single. As a fourth year, talking about jobs or masters degrees has just become a part of day-to-day conversation. However, there is one question that always causes a brief moment of silence, and an awkward response: “Oh, hey, where’s your (insert name of that person’s significant other here) going to work?” From the perspective of a happy-go-lucky single, it appears that some couples are doing everything they can do avoid that topic at the moment. Is final year a relationship killer?

            Think about it - you have a partner who you care about, and want to be happy. But, what if that means their dream job is in London, while yours is in New York? Surely, you can’t expect your boo to give up the opportunity of a lifetime and move closer to you just so your snuggle buddy is within proximity? However, at the same time, in these kinds of situations, long distance is a lot less well defined. It’s not like you’re going to go away for a semester abroad, and you know you’ll see that person when they get back. Moreover, going into an entry-level job, won’t it be just like being back in Fresher’s week? What if bae feels neglected because you’re off gallivanting around, making a living for the first time in your life, and you’re just trying to keep your world from falling apart?

            Let’s discuss this from a logical point of view. Getting rid of all those pesky emotions that so often cause things to go wrong in relationships. If you break up after university, you have freedom and mobility, you aren’t responsible to anyone, but, at the same time, you may have just lost the love of your life. However, if it’s true love, and you break, surely the two of you will find each other again? Will and Kate broke up after University after all, and look at them now! As happy as can be, according to official royal propaganda and penny tabloids.

            And what if you stay together? I have a good friend who decided to do long-distance with her boyfriend. Her argument is that as long as the two of you communicate, sit down and have a mature discussion about what the trajectory of your relationship is going to look like, why can’t long distance work? It does seem the ideal situation. You can find happiness in both your work and personal life. Then again, the obvious downside is the fact that, unlike St Andrews, you can’t walk at most twenty minutes and be at their house. And you have to take responsibility for yourself to keep your ‘wandering eye’ in check.

            I truly hope to all you fourth year couples out there, you and your partners come to a conclusion that is going to make you both happy, whether it’s long-distance, moving together, or breaking up.  Besides, one in three people who go to St Andrews meet their life partners here. So, if you do decide to stick together, statistically, you have a pretty good chance!