Emotional Captivity: how do you fall out of love?

"Worse than the total agony of being in love?" we hear Sam say, as Love Actually plays on our televisions, and the Christmas season rolls in. He's right. Being in love can be an incredible feeling; but, for some, being in love with the wrong person can be a totalising misery. Label discusses the impossibility of falling out of love at will.

Emotional captivity is when you’re slouched over on the ground crying because you genuinely don’t want to be in love with that one particular someone anymore. Whether they’re still in you’re life or not, you can’t move on- they’re living rent-free in your head. You can’t pursue another relationship wholeheartedly because you’re too busy thinking about what it would be like to be with them.

I wish this was an article that would end happily- where anyone who read that first paragraph will think, I know exactly what you’re feeling, now I’ll read on to see your advice on how to solve it. That’s the problem; I can’t solve it. I’m suffering from it myself. I’ve been in love for two years with someone who treats me horribly, cruelly and is mentally manipulative. So, I’m afraid if you’re looking for answers, I can give you none.

I consider myself to be a fairly rational and logical person. I usually make decisions after thought and planning. Which is why being emotionally captive adds an extra level of stress. This isn’t something that can be controlled with reasoning; it is a matter of the heart, not the mind. You don’t want to be in love, you literally just want to be able to move on with your life without the thought of them following you around every time you hear a love song, or see a kiss in a movie.

I suppose then that this is a reverse article. Instead of giving advice, I’m begging for it. Can anyone help me? I’ve tried everything.  All forms of social media were cut off; I gave him another chance; I’ve tried being angry; I’ve tried being sad, and I’ve tried dating other people. None of it has worked!  Instead, you sit and rot away in this prison that you’ve partially created for yourself. It’s been so long, I’ve begun to forget what freedom feels like.