The summer break has finally begun! But for those in a relationship, this can be a sexually frustrating time. With your real sex life put on hold for the holidays, Label shares the best ways to keep your relationship as hot as the weather and stay satisfied this summer.
Let’s begin with the obvious. Added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2011, sexting is the most classic way to engage with your partner when you’re both in that mood. For those of you who find the prospect a bit daunting, you’re not alone. Many of the friends I’ve spoken to about sexting say that they have never tried it for fear of feeling embarrassed, or saying the wrong thing and not getting a reply back. Of course, writing down your desires is very different to acting them out, mostly because during physical sex those involved respond to each other in movement that is far more symbiotic than individual. However, it’s important to remember that you’re probably both feeling at least some nerves about embarrassment but, if you like each other, you do genuinely want to know what the other is fantasising about. Try responding to previous messages exactly the same way you would during sex (e.g. if the message received involves a hand moving down, respond with something about opening your legs). You’ll soon find that talking to each other like this can be very exciting. Even the inconvenience of waiting for a text back can be a turn on - see it as the cyber equivalent of edging.*
* Edging: the sexual technique of bringing somebody close to an orgasm, stopping, and then starting again to intensify the final climax.
A more intimate way to stimulate each other’s sex lives is to take sexting to the next level and get naked. Taking your clothes off while watching each other on Skype fills the void that distance has made of missing each other’s bodies. If talking dirty is what you’re into then this can be fun, but personally, I think touching yourself over video can be better. If part of the fun of sex is turning the other person on and having mutual orgasms, then Skype sex can achieve half the fun without you even laying a finger on each other. (And really, who can get you off better than you, right?)
Of course, the problem with the above is that they require both parties to be free at the same time. As f**kboy culture takes over the ‘send nudes’ idea, a different way to spice things up via text is to send your partner a snippet of something you’re fantasising about, or just to tell them if you’re masturbating. They don’t have to be by their phone, and getting a surprise text like this can be a small but saucy reminder that, well, you’re hot and thinking of them. It can also add an intensity factor to your sex life: sometimes not having an orgasm and being literally put on hold can be just as much of a turn on as having one.
If you’re masturbating and missing your partner, often the sex you have together will be running through your head. So what could be better than watching it? If you have the time before you both part ways for summer, try filming yourselves having sex for you both to keep for the holidays. You don’t need any fancy technology, just a phone or laptop with a camera or webcam will do. If you both have complete trust in each other to keep this video private, then it is an excellent way to still have a part of your sex life kept alive throughout the summer. Plus, the chances are that if you know you’re filming, you’ll act well for the camera and quite possibly have the best sex of your life. You’re welcome.