With so many couples sparking their relationship on Tinder nowadays, why is this still a source of embarrassment? Many people brace themselves for the judgement they may face for using a "superficial" app to meet their significant other. Amongst the dates, sex, and controversy that surrounds this popular app, Label calls for a rethink of the stigma surrounding meeting your partner this way.
With much regret and self-loathing, I forayed into Tinder. I don’t know why it was so embarrassing to tell people that. Yet, I found myself blushing anytime someone caught a glimpse of the app on my phone. Why is there still a stigma around such things? One of my closest friends even hid from me that he and his serious girlfriend had met on Tinder. I would like to break down this TInder-shame. From my experience, if approached with the right intentions and expectations, Tinder can be a great thing to have. I’m a fourth year student in her second semester. I don’t have the time or energy to go out and try to meet people. I’m not really in the mood to get drunk and make out with the first guy I see. And I’m not that interested in being hit on by creepy old men in clubs. Yet, I’m still human, and could still use a little bit of “bump and grind” every now and then. And Tinder is a great way to get those needs fulfilled.
You’re only going to be saying yes to people who you find physically attractive. I know, I know. That sounds superficial, and it’s one of the biggest complaints people have about the app. But, in reality, you have to have some degree of attraction to your partner- whether it’s a one-night stand or a long-term relationship. And, sure, over time, as you get to know people’s personalities, they become more attractive. Despite this, I maintain that picking your matches based on their looks isn’t something be ashamed of. You’re on tinder for a reason- and I don’t really want to be lip-locked with someone I’m not attracted to.
It’s not as creepy as I thought it would be. I was actually pleasantly surprised by how safe, and almost vanilla, the app actually is. You’re not allowed to send pictures, which protects against the threat of unwanted dick pics. And, from my experience, my matches usually open with a friendly “hey, how are you?” or cheesy and intentionally bad pick-up line, rather than something derogatory or threatening. Plus, if you don’t want to talk to them, you don’t have to! They don’t have any personal information about you apart from what you tell them or choose to have displayed, so if someone is creeping you out, then just push a button and away they go!
Things move more quickly on Tinder, but still take their time. I know that sounds like a contradiction, so let me explain. I have gone on three tinder dates. Each gentleman was lovely and engaging in his own right, and the dates ended with, at most, a kiss. It was the second dates that got a bit heated. I joined Tinder for those second-date type of activities, and so did the guys. There was no pressure about whether we were moving too fast or too slow, because in reality we both knew what we were there for. Yet, despite the horror stories I had heard about Tinder, I had three really pleasant first dates where nothing happened, so that we could scope each other out, before deciding to move on to more…amorous…interactions…on the second date.
I conclude by saying this: there should be no stigma surrounding Tinder. I personally don’t think it’s the best place to go if you’re looking for a long-term partner. However, if you’re like me, and don’t really have the time for something serious, snap a selfie, download the app, and go and meet some cool people! Let’s face it, we all have those needs, and Tinder is a great place to go when the mood strikes - if you know what I mean.