The early days of a relationship are some of the most magical; fondly known as the ‘honeymoon period’. Everything is still new and full of anticipation, still to be discovered. This is exciting but also challenging. You’re trying to figure out where the common ground is and whether or not this relationship will go the distance. Here are our top tips on making sure you enjoy the early days of a relationship.
1. Be completely yourself (that doesn’t mean telling them everything)
There’s no point acting a part in the early days of dating – you won’t be able to sustain it. Why tell them you love a band if you don’t? Soon you’ll be at the concert, bored out of your mind, and resenting them for taking you. Don’t pretend to be shy to seem cute, or like an extrovert if you know that you need that time under the covers (not in a kinky way.) Let them know the actual you, and then they’ll either fall for you or not. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean you have to tell them absolutely everything all at once. Don’t lie, or be fake, but I mean – would it be such a bad thing to keep some of your quirkier habits to yourself for a while? Or let the crazy family secrets stay sleeping? It’s all about walking the line and peeling back the layers of your personality over time.
2. Listen to them
The best thing you can do at the start of a new relationship, is listen to your partner. You already know all about yourself, so take the time to listen and get to know them. I don’t mean you should let them dominate the conversation; but it’s very important that they get their chance to share. Listen properly to what they’re telling you, take it in, and use the opportunity to find the common ground.
3. Keep an open mind
There will be things that you disagree on – inevitably! Keep an open mind to these differences in the early days and don’t be too quick to rule someone out. Dating across political, social or economic differences can be incredibly eye opening. Be respectful of their point of view and put your own across. Someone may seem really different to you but if there’s a spark – explore it!
4. Have sex as and when you feel comfortable
If you want to have sex on the first date then go for it. If you don’t want to have sex in the first few months (or ever!) then that’s totally fine. Be open with your partner and wait for trust to be established between the two of you. To go back to the first point: be yourself! Be honest about what you’re into and what you want. It’s not unusual for the first time to be a bit of an anti-climax and it’s totally fine if you want to slow things down, after already having sex once. Whatever works for you and your partner is totally fine – there’s no rulebook to be followed here.
5. Keep your expectations realistic
It’s pretty rare that two people will instantly connect with no awkwardness whatsoever. Don’t compare this new relationship to the ‘love of your life’, or the best date you’ve been on, or the intimacy you had with your last partner. Relationships take time to develop, so keep your expectations in check. If the sex isn’t great the first time, or there are a couple of awkward pauses then that’s nothing to freak out about. Let the intimacy develop over time – don’t try and rush it.